ITS MY LIFE ORIGINS: CAVE JONSON
by MarissaTheWriter
Summary: WHO IS CAVE JONSON? HOWS HIS PARENTS? HOW DID HE BECAME LIKE HE WAS? FIND OUT THE SHOCKIN SECRETS AND DEEP LORE TO BE FOUND OUT IN THIS SPECAL ONE TIME NOSTALGIA BRING BACK FOR ITS MY LIFE!


Hey all those ons! Im retried an done with fnacfiction mostly but I rembered I still hads this old acount an thot I shud rite a tiny story to fill out the DEEP LORE of ITS MY LIFE with a surise backstory plot of Cave Jonson! Were he comed from? Who his parunts? Well its a SHOCKIN TWIST you better believe becos im writin it. ALSO IF U CAN FIGURED OUT WHICH CARS ARE CAVE JONSONS PARENTS REAL NAMES (THERE NOT FROM PORTAL THERE A DIFFRANT CARITERS) U GET A PRIZE REWARD (NOT REELY I DONT HAVE ONE)

ITS MY LIFE ORIGINS (LOL LIKE TEH X MEN ORIGINS MOVIES BUT THEY ONLY DID 1 BECOS WOLVEROONE SUCKED BAD): CAVE JONSON

The bast was goin good on Cave Jonsons first day at Portal High School. Eh was workin out to get mussely in his room as the sitcom fade in music played that it was startin the story.

"CAVE JONSON STOP BUGGERIN ROUND I DIDNAE RAYS U TO BE LATE OF FIRST DAY ON THE HIGH SCHOOL!11" Scottished his mother. Cave got the waits lifted all goodly and trowed them into the sealing an rand down stairs with toast in his mouth (LIKE THE ANIME PICTURE MEME LOL). His parunts was downstairs and were ecited but Cave's dad looked kinna upset.

"Gotta blast!" He leik Jimmy Nootron becos he lovced science but Cave'd didant approve.

"Son before you school I have a important question," his dad. It taked out of his pocket a shreddy paper. "Why are yur American Hgowarts apps all turned up?!"

Cave got nervos bout the papers. "Oh they got wet and torn from exorcising class. Sorry. It okay though Im happy to do science stead of magic."

His dad got more madder. "But magic is imporant to the family name that is why I named u Cave so are names wood both start with C and YOU MUST LEARN IT."

"NO!" Creamed Cave. "Magic is dum I liek science YOU DONT UNNDERSTAND MEEEE!" An he ran out to school on his tears.

Cave's mom tried to clam down Cave's dad. "Dont wank him too hard sweaty, eh needs tae pick his own choose."

Cave's dad got a sad on his face. "Rember when we has his age an I wanted to lurn magic so bad but Hogwarts didant admit humens yet so I had to learn my own. Now he gets ona a sliver platter an he stabs it in my heart!" He got crazy and puched the table over but hurt his fist.

"I am worry of u I think u are getting manopause (IT IS LIKE MENOPAWS BUT FOR GUYS WHEN TEHY WANT SPORTS CARS AND METAL WIVES) an need to relax down." Cav'es mom say back to him.

"No I am rite. If only yur ooterase didant give out we cold have had nother child to do magic instead" But then he got a idea. A wonderful awful idea (LOL GRNICH IS MY FAV DR SUESS STORY)

Cave's mod twisted her head into angry seein the lookin look on Cave's Dadface. "Dont be thinkin of soddin waht I think ur soddin. Dark magile is BAD AS BREEKS AN I WOOD NEVER FORGIVE U!" Scottished her with angery eyebrows. "Anyway I have to do a misson Ill be home for dinner." And backflipped out the door.

He tried to resistance the tempation of dark magic but his desire of family legacy growed stronger. "It just a simple spell to ensure." So he went into bedroom an got the secret book "Necrocomiccon" an opaned a page to find out. The page say it gives the power to do so he drewed a circle with candles a plenty. Cave dad got on his nees an killed a goat. Dark smokers came everywhere an Cave's Dadeyes went black as holes.

"ADSNKLFNPAO[IFNIEASPLF!112666!" He said speakin in tongs. "HAIL STAN!" Lots a firey fire came of the pentergram circle an Queen music started playin loud and proud. A guy walked out of the flamez but he wasnt a flamer troll (AN IM MOVED ON FROM THAT WERE GOOD NOW UNLESS U CROSS ME). He Uzzy Uzborn stylins an sunglasses indoors. It was... A DEMAN!666!

"OMG I DIDANT MEAN TO SUMMAND A DEMAN" Cave's dad cried he was in too deep. The deman starred at his snotty face and drippin eyes and felt sorry.

"Column?!" The dman said in shocked. "We fighted in the war together in teh Middel Ages when u was a teeanger!?"

Cave's Dda notised it was familar too. "Ur... CROWLY!" He titend his mussels with fury an rage. "BECOS OF U MY WIFE IS LAST OF HER KIND!"

Crowly got sad an cried an said "It wasant my fault u was there. But I feel sorry still so I will help with ur task with a deman deal." He putted out his firey hand.

It was hard to fogive him but Cave'd Dad was despart. "Okay. My son dosant want to be magic like me he only cares of tests and toobs. I need a way to make him like."

Crowley thot hard and scuthed his snake eyes. "Mhmmm." He seed Cave's Moms spesal dagger sords that can be hooks too on the wall were she kept them from the old country. "Remember me dotter Rosalad Lettuce?"

"Yah I heard she died sorry for your lots." Cave's Dad apolocized while Crowly played with the spesal sords.

"Its all good. Well turns ot in a alternative universe Azzerfal birthed a SUN instate names Marrissa Roberts Lettuce. So like twins but the same eprseron so its not insects or nothin like that."

"Kay but what to do with Cave?"

Crowly spited deman flames overs the swords and handled them to Cave's dad. "Slice him with thees and Cave will becom too people like twins!"

Cave's dad miled gettin the idea. "An one will like magic an the other can still do science! This is perfects I forgive u for ur crimes of humanity Crolwry!~!" He hifived Crowlys deal hand to make it offisal.

"HOENY IM HOME AN ALSO CAVE IS BACK FROM FIRST DAY LETS GIT A SODDIN FOOD DINNER!" Scottished Cave's mom. Cave's Dad has loosed track of time reminiscin on Stories Untold (LOL THATS A GAME).

"Common deer!" He takes the swords of Crolwy who does a thumbs up into fire and gone. Cave's Dad went into downstars at dinner table were food had arrived from the Lasagna Store Cave's Mom stop by on the way.

"Such good day!" Cave happied. "I joined science club an met a coot girl names Caroline!"

Cave's Dad cried a little he didant want it to have to be this way but it was no choice now.

"Wots that in ur bahookey?!" Cave's Mom said in shock as Cave's Dad taked the swords and chop Cave in to to halfs. Then the halfs DIDANT die. Instead they turned into to pepole. One a guy one a girl.

"No!" Said the girl one. "Im not a girl Im a guy still my name is Cave Jonson." He explained with trans.

"Okay" say the other one. "I'll be Gabe Jonson than."

Cave's Mom was just frozed in horrer at wat her husband had just doned. Cave's Dad was smackin his hands in happy. "So wich ones of u want to learn to magic?"

"Not me" "Nop I like sience still." They both said. Littel did Cave's Dad no Crowly had doned a deman trick. Instate of makin the two suns one science and one magic he made one good science an one BAD sicence.

Cave's Mom standed up an throw the lasagna all over. It was good alsgna that now tehey wood never now the pleasures of. "U BUGGERIN GOOKIE OF SODS! U DARK MAGICED AN BEHIND ME BACK!1111! IM DIVORCIN U AN GOIN TO ENGLIND!12!" She Scottished one last time an taked the swords and ran off cryin.

"Wate no my love!" But she didt say buy. (I CRIE AT DIS PART EVERY TEIM)

"HOw cold u make are momther abandon us?" Asked Cave as darkness from the actions of parental malpractice filled his hearth.

Gabe Jonson didant like the evil. He just wanted to do sience and hang with Caroline ho was his lab partnered. He sucked a tear up his eyes sins he didant want his dad to see him like that an ran to his room but Cave was there alsready. "This is my room now u can live under the stars!" An he punche Gabe down the stairs.

Cav'es dad was still there cryin his eyeballs off. "Im sorry I ruined are family son but at least u have a brothor now."

Maybe it was enuff. The school yeer had just started an Gabe Jonson wanted to be the big man. It was crazy, but ITS HIS LIFE!

THEND

WELL THATS THE STORY OF CAVE JONSON FINALLY TELLED. I WAS DONE RITING THIS STUFF BUT I THOT FOR AULD TIMES SAKE ID RITE ONE MORE BASED OF SOME IDEEAS I HAD IN THE PAST FOR THE FLAMES AWAKEN OR ANOTHER BOUT SQUIDS SO INSTEAD HERES THAT ONE. MEBBE ILL DO A OTHER ONE OF CROWLY AN AZZERFALE AND HOW THEY WAS THE LETTUCE TWINS DADS BUT PROLLY NOT. IT IS MY GIFT TO U ALL FOR HAPPY 4 OF AGUST (ITS LIKE 4TH OF JULY BUT NOT AS GOOD). ANYHAY MARRISSATHEWRITER SINNIN OFF!


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